Easily one of the funniest blog posts ever.

From DemonBaby:

This reminds me of a story I know I'm going to regret telling, but here goes: Quite a few years ago I was passing through New York for some reason or another, and one night I went out bar-hopping with a couple friends. We stumbled out of the last bar around 3am, drunk and giddy, laughing and tripping as we walked back towards our hotel. On the way we passed a porno store, which aside from the occasional pizza place was the only thing open at 3am. I'm not sure why - I think one of my friends wanted to buy a magazine - but we went in, and annoyed the shop's patrons by picking up every ridiculous sex toy and laughing about it loudly. The most absurd thing we found was a large plastic beer can - meant to look like "Coors Light," or something, but much larger - and when you unscrewed the cap at the top, there was a latex vagina inside, that you were meant to stick your dick in and fuck the can. Well, not really "fuck" the can, exactly, but masturbate with it. Same concept as the Japanese ones, but more elaborate. In fact, this is pretty much exactly what it was.

So of course we have to buy the beer can vagina, because we're drunk and it's funny, and we figure we'll find some entertaining unintended use for it. So we paid for it and continued on our merry way back to the hotel. Once there we said our goodbyes and retired to our rooms, and I realized that somehow I'd gotten stuck carrying the bag from the sex store. I set it down on the desk and didn't think much about it. That is, for a few minutes, until I found myself sitting on the bed in my hotel room, drunk and lonely and sexually frustrated, and I kept staring over at that stupid beer can vagina. "Maybe I should just try it. Just see what it feels like..." I mean, why not, right? You know. Just for kicks, right? So you know what? I fucked it. Yeah. I fucked a plastic beer can. I fucked the shit out of that can. And you know what? It felt alright. It did the trick. That is, until it was all over. Until the moment after, when I was hit by a sobering freight train of humility, looking down at my dick stuck inside a latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to question everything - "How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am I doing with my life?" I probably sat there for an hour, silently with my plastic lover, pondering my existence.

The next morning, when the subject of the previous night came up and someone said, "oh, where's that funny beer can thing we got? Rob, you had it, right?" And everyone looks at me, and I just stare at them for a moment, and then say, "...I fucked it. I fucked it and I hated myself, and now it's gone." There was a slight pause, followed by uproarious laughter. The ridicule took months to subside.

____________________________________

"Until the moment after, when I was hit by a sobering freight train of humility, looking down at my dick stuck inside a latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to question everything - "How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am I doing with my life?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

hhhhhhhhahahahahahahahaha. wow. who puts that on the web?

Dave

copied, pasted, and sent to all my friends (guy friends, anyway).

that was hilarious, GF.

Yeah...this is such a GUY thread.

been there...

like that's a surprise...

**********************************
"I just wasted 5 minutes reading this thread and writing this response, and when you look at the big picture, this has nothing to do with my life or anything that is important to me."

jonathin, January 2008

He could have at least bought the can dinner...
----------------------------------------
I loves me some J.J....She gets my Mojo Ryzin - Riffmomma

I thought he meant can, as in ass.

Like:
"Look at that broad's can"

This was much funnier.

Yeah...this is such a GUY thread.

Now see, if this had been a story about a woman's first encounter with a vibrator, no one would give it a second thought.

When a woman fucks latex it's hot.

When a man fucks latex it's desperate and sad.

And really, really fucking funny...
____________________________________

why did it take me so long to read this!?!?! lol!
***********************************
I wish you were a beer.

Your Friend,
Keef Riffhard - intolerant hypocrite



-Bea Arthur Whirlwind-

reminds me of ox's fleshlight.

where the h-e double hockey sticks is that guy?

where ever nga is... ;P
***********************************
I wish you were a beer.

Your Friend,
Keef Riffhard - intolerant hypocrite



-Bea Arthur Whirlwind-

now i have to find this porno store..
***********************************
I wish you were a beer.

Your Friend,
Keef Riffhard - intolerant hypocrite



-Bea Arthur Whirlwind-

nga is in my heart.

i was at the world's largest adult bookstore last weekend. they had a double dong with balls. it made me guffaw and then i bought it.

I used to go this huge adult superstore in town, rent porn, buy sex toys for the wife (back when I had one) and I to spice things up in the bedroom etc...

Then one day I walked into an algebra class and a cute girl in the front row smiled at me and waved. I knew that I knew her from somewhere, but couldn't quite place her. After class she said "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!"

I mumbled something and walked off. On my way to my car it hit me: she was a clerk at the porn store. I've never been back.
____________________________________

That story had a happier ending than MY can fucking story.....
***********************************

GF: that is funny.

I mean he didn't say he fell in love with the can or anything ;)

Then I'd be worried.


"every flower at the florist is dying" - Lies, Lies & more Lies

Hahaha, at least he got his moneys worth.

Could you post a link to where this came from in order to give the blogger credit and so I can take a break from looking at a shit green background?

It's at DemonBaby Willie (like it says in the first post).

http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/

Look under "Popular".


*Edit*
Sorry, I'm a little slow tonight:

http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2005/08/curiosities-from-japans-porno-shops.html

Rob is the blogger.


____________________________________

[deleted]

A buddy and me walked into a smoke shop a few years back and they had a sex section in the corner with dvds and shit. Talk about laughing out loud, they had a blow-up doll inflated and hanging on the wall and in the typical daze one walks into a head shop with, I burst out loud....she was black! I mean, you have to pretend that she's actually a girl right? Is it that much of a stretch to pretend she's a sister?!

...and you know it's prolly white dudes buying the black ones. Somehow, I resisted the temptation.

sounds like dude had a serious case of POD...Post Orgasmic Depression. I had a friend tell me a similar story, but it involved an actual sex partner, baby oil and an old school water bed matress with no sheets. Probably sounded like a good idea when you are drunk and horny, but I am told the feeling afterwards was not so pleasant. Needless to say, we al got a good laugh from that story.