and used an actual vagina this time...

You're having a baby or referencing the production company's ad at the end of xfiles?
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NO WAVES YOU CANNOT DIE WITH ME!
-kjoy

Congratulations?!

But that baby looks like a slacker, laying back with his feet up watching TV or something.
________________

Doug's Discs

looks like that pic of Whitney Houston in her coffin. You killed Whitney?

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'just start the song asshole' - Jeff Tweedy

Actually it is Whitney. We are trying this whole reborn thing.

-------------------------------------------------------
"703, you are without a fucking doubt, the biggest piece of shit loser on the internet" -dudeman

"You to mr703.......You are exactly the fuckd who have run many off this board. - gringo"

See, I made a liar out of the Enquirer. My picture is more recent.

Look forward to the hourly facebook updates on the kid's bodily excretions. I know you love those, Nick...

I was hoping for hourly updates on the corg. Twitter works, too.

Wow, congratulations! I hope the baby has your sense of humor.

congrats NICK! this whole time i thought we had nothing in common.
if you want parenting advice please refer to my mentor mr703

The other day I realized I had legitimate hate for a fetus and it had never done anything to me. I realized the mother, through Facebook status updates, made that possible for me. I don't want my kid to be hated before it has reason to be hated. I want my child to grow up with every opportunity to be hated, but on its own accord. I really think I can provide for this child those opportunities.

So me and Baby Mamma #3 (She is less than pleased with this moniker) have made a vow to not bludgeon our friends, families, and anonymous assholes (you lot) with the tiniest of minutiae regarding the fetus. Hate it once it is here, not before.

menstrual blood as paint? interesting.

I'm pretty sure you can't unfriend fetuses.
________________

Doug's Discs

Wait, is this the one you, ehh, "had for someone else"?

Or is this a new one?


Best of 2011 Disc 1
Best of 2011 Disc 2

Are you saying Nick is a surrogate father?
________________

Doug's Discs

Yeah, I thought he was at some point.

I'm pretty sure that's why he typed "this time".

Either way, congrats Nick.


Best of 2011 Disc 1
Best of 2011 Disc 2

He impregnates so often, it's hard to keep up.

This is another one. This is kid #2, but the first one that I get to be part of its life. I am sure that will change if ever anyone showed it the plethora of amputee photoshops I have done on here.

I wish you'd listen to me.

What?

Owow! Congrats. Was this on purpose? As in you refused to pull out? :)
...........
Sir, no touching the dog please

Owow! Congrats. Was this on purpose? As in you refused to pull out? :)
It's ok if it was.
...........
Sir, no touching the dog please

It wasn't planned but I'm excited. Sorry Kjo!

It's ok :)
We can plan our second child together. Btw, I'm following you on twits. I am fennelseedlings

I don't really know how to use it, I just got it to stalk Ricky gervaise. I also enjoy the wisdom tweets of the Dalai lama
...........
Sir, no touching the dog please

So
So
So
So
Happy for you :)

technically, you didn't make shit... you just supplied the baby-batter.

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ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

Elevator Lady: 2
highlife: 2
sean: 3
WillieCash: 2

ANTI-ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

hamster: 4

Cb I have photographic evidence that he made sweet love.

I feel so stupid. It's not like me to make such a faux pas. I just thought to myself, 'Come on Nick, it's 2012, no one has ultrasounds that haven't been heavily filtered to look old and shitty!'

your boys can swim!

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ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

Elevator Lady: 2
highlife: 2
sean: 3
WillieCash: 2

ANTI-ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

hamster: 4

Can you make it waterski?

No shit, EL, I almost put Page in the original picture but I wasn't sure if you can ski through amniotic fluid. That kind of just made my stomach turn.

"Amniotic fluid is typically light in color and weight, with a slightly oily texture."

so, it's like gin

can you ski through gin?

that looks so much better! Nick your baby will appreciate that you took the time to manipulate his/her ultrasound pics.
...........
Sir, no touching the dog please

Um, congratulations?

Thanks, IW.

pics of conception or it didn't happen.

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ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

Elevator Lady: 2
highlife: 2
sean: 3
WillieCash: 2

ANTI-ZING POINTS:
[By request of Elevator Lady]

hamster: 4

what happened to the baby you spawned for the lesbian couple?

Um, he is good. He is 9 months old now.

I had the exact thing in your signature in my trunk until last year, nick

those things are both fun and useful in the right circumstances

I hope your baby's eyes sparkle like yours do and I hope she has half the sense of humor that seems to be a genetic gift in your family

only half, though, can't have the damn thing competing for laughs with you

so her water broke yesterday (all over my 7,200 thread count sheets made of egyptian foreskin, mind you) 12 weeks early. Things are kinda fucked up right now. And by 'things' I mean me, by the way. She will hopefully be able to keep it in there for a few weeks.

My ex-girlfriend's daughter was born premature (around ten or twelve weeks if I remember correctly)and the doctors didn't have much hope she would survive. But she did and she's now the sweetest twelve year old in the world. Still a little tiny, but healthy.

Hang in there Nick, it will be okay.

Thanks dude!

So is html back now then?
---------------------------------

why would you think it was?

Best of luck, Nick. Wishing for all things healthy with your mini-me.

Preemies eat less so you can continue your expensive prescription drug habit. God's plan, obviously. ;)
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Best of luck Nick.

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I ain't got nothing but love for you now.

I'll be thinking about you and your's Nick.

Things have a way of working out.
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I'm sorry you're both going through this. My water broke in the parking lot of a Home Depot. Lucy was 5 weeks early. My doctor said I was working too hard (2 jobs + band)and she was right. The kid is totally healthy now and a pain in the butt when she wants to be.

I hope everything works out and we can see a .gif of the baby happily nursing in Meade jeans very soon. xoxo

Thanks, Orgers. Hopefully the little fetus can stay in there for a few more weeks. I am banking on it, I haven't had a chance to make a Meade Lullaby mix yet.

If her water indeed did break staying in there wouldn't be an option would it?

I'm no obstetrician, but I played one in high school.
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Yeah, it is an option. They can keep the baby in there for weeks. Every time I see a foot or whatever pop out, I just kinda push it back in using one of those Hulk fists.

Fucking wow.

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

I think you should commission Meade to write an original song for the baby. Let's see if he can come up with something that rhymes with 'non-aborted'.

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'just start the song asshole' - Jeff Tweedy

It's meade.....I'm sure he'd use deported.

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Those last two responses are two of my favorite things I have read here in a good while. Well done, boys.

It's all in the delivery.

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'just start the song asshole' - Jeff Tweedy

Good luck Nick, I will be sending good mojo your way :) I just know everything will be alright.
The earth is a brain.

Thanks, Kjo. Sorry it isn't yours.

Theres always the next one
The earth is a brain.

Was that what's known as a virtual handshake?
________________

If he/she/it ends up being a super-early preemie, plan on going broke. :(

I want to put a baby in you Nick.

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"If he/she/it ends up being a super-early preemie, plan on going broke. :("

Bitch, my paper is long. I've had habits that cost more than an incubator.

Monkey, I'd let you and only you.

Take that, Balv.

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I know your paper is long (and wide), but you'll still go broke.

I want to put a baby in you, lofl
The earth is a brain.

fuck this no picture stuff....

Org, meet Meade Finn

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/9024/finnz.jpg

He looks beautiful! How's he doing?!?

WoW!! What a beautiful, healthy baby! Big congratulations to Nick and Meade Finn's mom. I trust your sheets recovered with a simple run through the washing machine.

Congratulations Nick!

Congratulations man -- he looks healthy and happy.

Awesome!

Keep him away from that Sweet Tea pedialyte.
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Congrats.

He looks solid.
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Keep him away from Meade Skelton too. I don't want all of your lives turning into a tragic Lifetime movie where they have to put the touched boy down at the end.

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hahaha.

Thanks, everyone. Everything is good so far. He was about 10 weeks early so he is pretty tiny. I tips the scales at about 3lbs 15oz.

Yeah, my son was 11 weeks early and he is the on.y person in the back row of his pre-K class picture. He's a full head taller than everyone else.

Congrats. And I was being serious about my last post. I always joke about owning a van. I'm pretty sure that Meade actually does.

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If you named him Meade, that kid's in for A LOT of ass-kickings.

I had no intentions of naming him Meade. We didn't even know the sex. We had a few names picked out but Meade just dawned on me after I had to park in the handicap parking space.

Well, then couldn't you have just named him Corky?

Or Der dah der der
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Lil Meade has the cutest lil feet. More pics!
The earth is a brain.

IW, good god, I haven't heard a good Corky joke in more than 15 years....still

The one that got away. Congrats.

Tiny guy
http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/496/thumbimg.jpg

:):):):):):):):)

:) :) <3
The earth is a brain.

Awwww.

Looks like a pretty strong grip for a little guy.

He'll be crushing natty cans on his forehead before long though.
________________

^ Nah, not if he is anything like me.

I think he may be like you a little
The earth is a brain.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

There are at least 7 NICU nurses up here that are young and beautiful that I want to sleep with. I totally would too if I weren't afraid that any sexual letdown on my part would be detrimental to little Meade's care.

http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/176/smileyr.jpg

Oh WOW! Congrats, nick! I was wondering if that baby was still dry docked.
Welcome Little Meade!

congrats nick on the awesome baby.

should have named it rod

That's not your baby? It looks nothing like an asshole.

:)
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He was named Rod for a bit but the little guy next to him in the NICU was also named Rod. We immediately panicked over the potential of a mix up of doctor's orders. Like we already had a mohel in mind for little Meade's Mezizah. We didn't really trust the mohel the hospital typically uses, 'Gummin' Gabrian Auerbach.

Little Meade is wearing a one piece jumper now. Never will my child have this much in common with Dan33185

He's finally fucking home...

http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/6522/finnhome.jpg

http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/7311/finnnotube.jpg

Kind of small. Looks defective.

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Precious. Welcome home, baby.

I meant to give you this instruction manual a while ago.

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/4904/babymanual.jpg

Awwwww...he is so cute. Congrats, nick.

Thank you, Inky and Amy.

Inky, I tried calming the baby the exact same way!

His name is Meade?


I missed alot while I was gone.

you didn't build that

Yes I did. I made baby Meade.

http://imageshack.us/a/img31/8907/pacifier.gif

Nice.

Best animated GIF i've seen all day.

Lofty praise, I know.
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Thanks, I made it using an iPhone app called Cinemagram.

Anybody else turned on right now?
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Solum Judy me iudicare potest.

me

ha!

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Solum Judy me iudicare potest.

I showed it to a girl at work that is working on creating animated GIF's today and she thought it was cool...

"but kind of creepy"

Not sure why a baby would come off as creepy, but OK.

Now if you were to animate the binky in Lana Del Ray's mouth, then you'd have something!
________________

I think it is creepy because lil Meade looks lifeless.

He looks pretty chill.
What color are his eyes?

Blue

Finn is starting to get a personality.

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/7140/finnk.jpg

Does he have his father's lazy eye?

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I ain't got nothing but love for you now.

Omgoodness I just melted a lil bit
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/5196/finn2.jpg

No, he doesn't have the lazy eye yet, highlife. Much to my amusement he does go crosseyed sometimes though.

Very cute


------------------------------
I kissed you once, kissed you again
My heart it tumbled like the stock exchange
------------------------------

Thanks, Kjo.

He's got to get full muscle control before he let that bastard loll off wall-like.

Give him time.

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I ain't got nothing but love for you now.

My lil Meadette would go cross eyed from time to time too. It really worried me but its totally normal.
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade