One-uppers.

There is a breed of human being understanding of human discourse is solely based on one-upping.

I guess it's an attention-whoring issue. If the spotlight is, even temporarily, cast upon someone or something else, an internal alarm goes off.

For instance, we have an office one-upper. No conversation is complete without her jumping in with a, "Ah that's nothing, I..." or "Oh you don't even know, my..."

Someone brought their dog to work today due to a lunch-time vet appointment. So of course everyone takes a break and lavishes attention on the dog. Office one upper: "I shoulda brought my dog in. You guys would love him, he'd be king of this place."

Another breed of this is the "Guy Who Never Wants to Seem Surprised by Anything". Case in point: A good friend of mine always invites me out to watch football. Any upset, trick play, freak injury, stadium bombing, alien raid, etc., is greeted with a nonchalant "Eh, doesn't surprise me at all really. I coulda told you that was gonna happen."

Yours?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so you work with DSS huh



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

pointless thread ;)

------------------------------------------------------------

You should check out Kristen Wiig's sketches as a one-upper on SNL. Check them out on Hulu.

This week's pet peeve for me is a guy I know who refers to his wife as "The Wife". Now, in an instance where someone doesn't know you or your wife, I think it's perfectly acceptable to refer to your wife as "The Wife", but this guy incessantly refers to his wife as "The Wife" to people who personally know his wife and know her name.

I guess this stems from another pet peeve of mine that this guy does. He's so cliche in anything he does and says. He wants to be looked at like a man's man, and will use any cliche saying to portray his masculinity. He'll saying something like "Women. You can't live with em...where are the beer nuts?" and he FUCKING OWNS IT like he came up with it all on his own.

Sometimes I wanna tell him it's ok to be himself.

-----------------------------------


10/9/08 - The RAA Infiltration - "We will never forget."

"I wish Brett Favre would crash his truck into a lake of AIDS." -El Mariachi

I'm going out to dinner with a friend tonight. EVERY time we go out...she either complains about her dinner or sends it back, so I make her pick the restaurant. When she tells me to pick it, I point this out to her and she then tells me that she NEVER does that.

So..people who do shit and then say they NEVER do it.

"so you work with DSS huh"

"pointless thread ;)"

A quality kev/mr 1-2 punch. Well done gentlemen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

phew

i put that wink on there to denote that i wasn't being an ass

i think you would have gotten it anyway but you never can tell

------------------------------------------------------------

Amy -- we have a girl like that at work, too. Serial meal-returner...it's almost like a way of asserting dominance or something.

I guarantee your friend has eaten a ton of spit in her day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i dont know how to react when someone doesnt call me me bitch for making a joke



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

yeah but you should hear about the guy i work with. he's a two upper
++++++++++
“Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”

Pet peeve: people who put winks after half-witted remarks to show they MIGHT be kidding just in case it was taken the wrong way.

;-)

-----------------------------------


10/9/08 - The RAA Infiltration - "We will never forget."

"I wish Brett Favre would crash his truck into a lake of AIDS." -El Mariachi

I know a one-upper. She's a particular breed of one-upper... she especially does it with shopping and restaurant recommendations.

Me: "Yeah, we had Thai last night at Sanphan, it was really good."

One-Upper: "Oh, no, Sanphan isn't good. Let me tell you about this place out in Reston. It's really far and no one knows about it, but it's the best Thai food in the area, hands down."

or even

Me: "Oh, this afternoon, I have to go to Target..."

Her: "You don't go to the one at X Shopping Center, do you?" [yes I do b/c it is ten minutes away and right next to a bunch of other places I routinely go] "Oh, no. You need to go to the one down This Street just over the Maryland line. That one is so much better. I'll take you sometime."

And on and on and on.

pet peeve: guys who wear wristbands

;)



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

"Her: "You don't go to the one at X Shopping Center, do you?" [yes I do b/c it is ten minutes away and right next to a bunch of other places I routinely go] "Oh, no. You need to go to the one down This Street just over the Maryland line. That one is so much better. I'll take you sometime." "

its not even the one up, its that last jab- the "I'll take you there sometime"

classic



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

YES!!!!



Fucking BRILLIANT, kev!

-----------------------------------


10/9/08 - The RAA Infiltration - "We will never forget."

"I wish Brett Favre would crash his truck into a lake of AIDS." -El Mariachi

"yeah but you should hear about the guy i work with. he's a two upper"

When did you get so funny? You've made me laugh loads recently.



Watch this space.

noms - i have no idea

just on a roll i guess
++++++++++
“Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”

I know! She actually said that to me about taking me to the Target. I am 32 years old, I have a car, I have already been to that Target (which is gross and inconvenient), and the directions are literally "turn right on this street, keep going for ten miles, and it's on the left." So I probably don't need an escort to take me there.

THAT's the great part about it. the kicker. she said all that, then thought "i should turn this up a notch" and bang, condescension. talk about brilliant. you should get her to sign up for the .org.



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

Hey, there's nothing wrong with escorts...MALE escorts...

-----------------------------------


10/9/08 - The RAA Infiltration - "We will never forget."

"I wish Brett Favre would crash his truck into a lake of AIDS." -El Mariachi

"Amy -- we have a girl like that at work, too. Serial meal-returner...it's almost like a way of asserting dominance or something."

Serial meal returner - that sounds like something out of Seinfeld
-----------------------
These pretzels are making me thirsty

no i'm not a psycho!



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

I have so many stories about this particular friend. I love her, but she has a lot of, um, quirks.

The other one that bugs me is that she is a high-pressure party hostess. We got the invitation to their Christmas party (on Dec. 12) on Halloween! That is as far in advance as you would send out a wedding invitation! The RSVP date on the invitation is like Dec. 4. GUARANTEED she will send out a passive-aggressive email to people who have not responded as of, say, Thanksgiving, asking whether you are coming or not and saying that she needs to know. She does it every year.

She also likes to talk about how much things cost, so when I come home from lunch with her, I always have a tally of how much money they've spent recently.

She is really nice, she just has some obvious insecurities. She means well. She's a sweet person.

it sounds as though you need a friend-editor em

a frienditor



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

I think you hit it in the last sentence, Em -- insecurities. People like this have to let the world know that they're in control.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you should see my pet peeve of the day

sooo late with that one jef! has m. ward called you yet?



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

yah we had tea

iced i presume



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

she just has some obvious insecurities

BINGO.

I've got a buddy that is always trying to show me how much he knows.

He's insecure. It got worse after he married a fat woman.
******************************

Lol!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

!

The same friend who sends back her meals....will never admit she's never heard of a restaurant. If you say..."I went to this restaurant" she says "Oh I've been there". So once a friend played a joke on her...said she went to restaurant A...and the friend said"Oh I went there"....which is impossible because restaurant A was made up.

She did it with me and music...but I called her out on it and told her she was full of shit...so she fessed up that she thought I was talking about another band.

Is this like an alternate breed of the know-it-all? I deal with a truck driver on a daily basis that prefaces every statement with," you wanna know something?" and then precedes to drop his opinion on politics, business, religion, relationships, and sports with absolute confidence that it is fact.

But he's really just a dirty truck driver.

had a girl do that with msuic - one of those feaux "deadheads" (i.e. phish fan) - so we started making up band names.

incidentally, she had heard of all of them and seen most of them.

Exactly, SC. Don't play the know it all...unless you DO know it all. There is always someone who will call you out...and then you look like an idiot.

me and my friend at work (my old work - the restaurant) try to one-up gross out the other people we work with. the human centipede was referenced alot during this time in my life.

one of my pet peeves - when i meet someone and the first or second question they ask is "so where do you work?" as if that determines my self worth. sometimes i say "unemployed"

Lol... re: The made up band name...I've done this too... my friend above, the "never surprised" guy, always claims to have listened extensively to things I know he hasn't. So I'll be like "Man, (album a) is really good, you should check it out." And he'll go "Yeah, I gave it a listen...wasn't too impressed."

However, album A had only just leaked, and the guy wouldn't know where to start to find a leak. Just another example of the control issues.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when you tell those people you made it up they have a retort too, its always, oh "i thought you meant..."



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

Ha... my friend that I was talking about likes to play the music game with me too. Once she tried it with, ahem, Nickelback. I gently told her that I was not a Nickelback fan. She said, "Oh, yeah, well, I'm not either, usually, but this new one is really good." LOL

Kev: Spot on. And then they get uber-defensive.

Them: Oh right, I thought you meant his last album.
Me: Suuure.
Them: What? No, seriously I did, cause I was just listening to it yesterday! Chill out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While I don't know half as much about music as most of you people...I do know way more than my friends.

There's always the person who says..I like music alot, too....and then will ask me if I like John Mayer or some other awful artist. Then I have to say, no I don't listen to him and they'll say..who do you listen to? So I'll just name a bunch of obscure artists, on purpose, and the person will just look at me like....wtf?

"John Mayer or some other awful artist"

Eeeeaaaaaasy

he was the first one that came to mind.

sorry Mayer fans.

What about the guy that tries to predict everything. Whats going to happend next. The outcome of the game. The new 'trend' this winter. Then tells everyone when he is right once a month

you mean like "the .org is dead" ? yeah i know a few



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

Is it a pet peeve to say your pissed that it's frowned on to hit a woman....Because she is a woman? Bitch fucking deserved it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggg!
*****

"in the US we have a saying:
those who can't, canada" -kev

No, i guess it's not.
*****

"in the US we have a saying:
those who can't, canada" -kev

[deleted]

Gringo
*****

"in the US we have a saying:
those who can't, canada" -kev

[deleted]

bahaha



"I will stop posting here 4 ever:("
- Kjoyoho

No, she found you to be worth studying...and she says your idea of a blowjob has more to do with a Dyson than a mouth.
*****

"in the US we have a saying:
those who can't, canada" -kev

Adding to the list: "Girl That Loves When People Hear Her Ringtone"

Who gives a shit about ringtones anymore? Is it 2002 again? Coworker has her ringtone as the theme song to "So You Think You Can Dance?" And everytime her phone rings, she'll stare at it for 4 to 5 seconds, glance around, then answer it.

Nobody cares!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've been on vibrate since 2004

------------------------------------------------------------

it annoys the fudge outta me when i go to call someone and i hear music and not a ring.
-----------------------------------
"Come on now. It's already been determined that some time relatively soon, we are going to see reports on the tube that ennui, k-jelly, and whisperer have sewn their anuses and mouths together a la "train" and NOBODY should be surprised." - shadowmonkey

me monsters are the worst

Brian Regan
*****

"in the US we have a saying:
those who can't, canada" -kev

Does this peeve anyone else?

Out to dinner in a group and inevitably somebody has to ask, what are you having? Simple enough but then it starts a chain reaction all around the table with everyone having to announce what they intend to order. In just moments, I'll be stating it out loud to the waitstaff and then just a short time later you'll see the fucking plate in front of me. Can we talk about something more interesting like Sarah Palin and retards or just how much cocaine Billy Mays did? In fact, Jon & Kate is a step up.

Is it just me?

Maybe.
That usually happens when I'm with a group and it seems to be because people are looking for ideas on what to order. Some have even changed their mind on what they would order because someone else was going to order something "better" and they missed it on the menu as they were glancing it over.

Dose, I don't know why that happens. Never really thought about it, but I think you just made it a pet peeve for me as well. Why the hell does anyone care what I'm ordering, and why do I care what t hey are getting? It's so weird. I'm making a vow to stop doing that.

I now will be tempted to be the pet peever instigator and be the first to ask who will have what. If someone does not participate I will single them out and ask what they plan on ordering. =0)

there are quite a few one-uppers on this board, no?

yes, for example, i try to one up all the dumbasses and be the biggest dumbass of all. its quite hard actually

One uppers! Yes!

I dont even know how to properly articulate what my biggest pet peeve is. I just spent a bunch of time with my old college friends (guys who married girls who were all friends with eachother - weird and lame) and EVERYTIME I see them I am forced into being the entertainment for the afternoon. None of the wives work, so they spend all their time with their kids/babies and have nothing to talk about but kids and babies. I am constantly bombarded with the *insert pity face here* 'you must be so unfulfilled because you arent married/dont have kids' conversation. It drives me bonkers. I have told them a thousand times that kids just arent for me and they dont get it. Anyway that is my pet peeve.

I also hate it when people use the phrase 'to be completely honest'. What, you have been lying for the last 20 minutes?

It means they were only 50% honest before stating their next comment will be 100% honest. =0)

My pet peeve- People who try to make funny comments to me when I'm trying to do a return for them. Example "It didn't scan, I guess it's free" Or customers who get angry because I won't return say an item that's been used, tell them I can't look up their credit card by their name. Lots of yelling when I tell them it's a safety issue if we let you charge by your name.

Also the people who yell. FOr no reason. I won't help if you yell. I'll smile and move on to the next person. I hate retail.And people are stupid. THey lose all common sense once they walk into a store.





"My vision of scummy and mickey right now - is them with one extravagantly coloured drink and two straws. " - W-T
"Lacey (she's lovely) " - Mickey

People who chew with their mouth open. It's the most disgusting sound ever. The lady across from me is doing it now. It irritates me so much that I will leave the room.

I cant stand repeating my self, huh?

I just dont repeat myself when i hear, huh?

just silence. Usually the deaftard really did hear me, he just used to saying "huh?"

"I have told them a thousand times that kids just arent for me and they dont get it."

God I want to marry you Shelley...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Usually the deaftard really did hear me, he just used to saying "huh?"

Either that or this comment was preceded by something you said that was incomprehensible.

People who add "ish" to words it doesn't belong in.

Examples of correct usage:
Childish
Ticklish
Amish

Examples of incorrect usage:
Cliqueish
Ryan Adamsish
Funkyish

How about -esque

Ryan Adamsesque

esque=hipster ish

amesque

Fifty percent chance of rain: either it's going to rain or it's not.

----------------------------------------------

Variation on mutineer's

"It was supposed to rain yesterday but it didn't."

Really? What stopped it if it was supposed to rain? Did someone intercede with destiny?

People who take the elevator instead of walking the 1 flight of stairs.

Agreed Lacey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seriously. When I want to go home you don't need to go from 2 to 1 because you're too lazy to walk. It's faster too. I would like to add that I normally take the stairs, with the exception of today and it ended up taking me longer to get to my car and home.

"My vision of scummy and mickey right now - is them with one extravagantly coloured drink and two straws. " - W-T
"Lacey (she's lovely) " - Mickey

JennyMc-fuckin-Hott. That's my pet peave of the day.
**********************************



Lois: Brian, you’re home early. What happened with your date?
Brian: The same thing that always happens, she was an idiot.

:]

This is not a pet peeve, but I don't like people who like clamatoe juice.

I figure if you'll eat clam water you will probably fuck a corpse, too.

Also, being in the business that I am in, I totally want to kill clients that have the nerve to BLAME ME when they are late on their payments.

Also, selling your family pet. That's fucked up.

Also, telemarketers that hang up on you before you can tell them to shove aged cheddar in their cooch.

A coworker of mine said the wizards in Harry Potter were demonic.

So, Christians are my pet peeve.

How about not spoiling your child's innocence/enjoyment of a film with your indoctrinated, poisoned mind?

Good one, Elroy.

People who say opposed to instead of supposed to.

And again people who chew with their mouths open.

I deal with both of these on a daily basis.

mouth breathers

people who stop the elevator doors from closing and get in instead of taking the next one.

1. "Should of" / "Would of"

2. Divorcing parents who want custody of their kids but clearly do not deserve it. For example, a) an alcoholic father with no job who owes $28,000 in child support and b) a cocaine-addicted mother whose daughter hates her so much that she recently tried to kill herself by setting herself on fire so she could leave the mother's house.

And those are just CURRENT clients.

James, you work in a law office I kind of remember, but in what aspect?

"James, you work in a law office I kind of remember, but in what aspect?"

I have a private practice. I primarily handle criminal cases, family law issues, and contract disputes.

Any chance I can pick your brain, very slightly, in the near future?

Gone. Will take that as a "no".

Ha! No, I was just working.

Feel free to post questions in the newly created "Free .org Legal Advice" thread or send an email to amyers@myerslaw.org if you prefer any kind of privacy.

I hate how lunch with co-workers ultimately turns into "Who Can Talk About Their Dog or Child the Most Hour."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SC Gamecocks - 2010 National Champions

people trying to get free advice from professionals posting on the org


classless sloths



hahahahahahahahaha

EL-

Just wanted to pop in to say that laughing at your own jokes ranks highly as one of my personal pet peeves.

And you still are the DollarGeneral Store of posters. Cheap, dumb comments.
************************************

memorable threads of 2010
.Why the fuck did I go so long without going to the library?.-Shadow Monkey

Easy on the insults Plains, don't summon the Woost.

it's ok, joost

it's kind of interesting to see what traits of mine offend Ely

it's sort of like looking into his diary at the page entitled 'This Self-Loathing is a Bitch'

It took me a while to read that last line as something other than 'This Self-Loathing Bitch.'

Until that post, that's what I read too...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SC Gamecocks - 2010 National Champions

Yeah, that's what it is. I hate myself.

Spare us your dimestore psychology and go back to entering credit card numbers at your job, posting about awful movies we told you not to watch while you defecate, and killing threads.

Tell your roommate I said hello.

Woost is cute. I like that. Good nickname, EL.
************************************

memorable threads of 2010
.Why the fuck did I go so long without going to the library?.-Shadow Monkey

it was actually woosty

roommate topic gets much play here, she would be understandably amused and confused

"I figure if you'll eat clam water you will probably fuck a corpse, too."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Coworker has her ringtone as the theme song to "So You Think You Can Dance?" And everytime her phone rings, she'll stare at it for 4 to 5 seconds, glance around, then answer it."

that is intolerable.

I hate the "one-upper".

I have a "dead" friend who does that. Truthfully...I couldn't care less if he blew Jerry while getting blown by Bob.

it might be an actual personality trait of Dead fans... and Zappa fans.

EL...you are correct about the Dead fans. I went to see them this past weekend and ran into a friend...who's friend spent a good 10 minutes GD name dropping with me.

I need to come up with a good lie....to shut these people up. ;)

Just claim to be Mountain Girl or something. It's obviously false, but you can insist it's true for a few minutes until they're so frustrated they leave you alone.
____________________________________
"Americans, with the exception of JCR, should never be allowed to talk" -Nomio

tell them Stanley Mouse is your great uncle and it's become too difficult to discuss the band anymore

People with no sense of space or their surroundings, i.e. people who just stand around in the middle of an aisle or walking area in a store, rather than moving to the side to glance around at clothing like man seeing fire for the first time.

Eating pretzels with your mouth open.

Not respecting someone personal space.

Adults eating lollypops.

People who hold food in their teeth.

People with superiority complexes on internet message boards. There's no prize for the biggest loser.



Watch this space.

passive aggressive .orgers



"some of those people at alt-country.org are kinda stuck up i think"
-dinopasta1

i thought pages pet peeve would be constantly finding chest hair in his corn flakes....
**********************************
"keef i remember you wear the first person i got in a fight with on the internet" - tim crimson

Your Friend,
Keef Riffhard - intolerant hypocrite



-Bea Arthur Whirlwind-

Ouch.

I suppose condescending people in general are annoying, but I particularly hate people that are condescending about where they are from.

Usually it's people from New York City or Texas. Keeping in mind I was born and raised in Dallas. It's still annoying.

I'm from Texas, too.

The fact that I have a large penis has nothing to do with that last statement.

Oldie but goodie because it hapens every other fucking day... drivers not using turn signals.

People who make an ordeal of introducing you to their dogs, who talk to you 'through' their dogs and make you pet their damn dogs to 'say hello.'

People who watch shitty movies and act surprised that they were shitty.

Not talking about you specifically, EL.

"WTF? Transformers 3 was a complete rip-off. Jonah Hex was awful. Megan Fox can't act."

I have no tolerance for these people and feel they should spend the night in a port-a-potty.

You know, to hone their shit detectors.

Amy G--you should consider dumping this friend. She sounds like she is a real pain the butt--my own pet peeves...people who on their cell phones 24/7 so they are never with you or in the moment --they are always doing something more important than right now. Also I hate it when people are rude to waiters

when someone has their desktop background "stretched"

instead of resized and proportional


i cannot explain how much this tweaks me...it almost hurts my soul




it's almost always of their dog or kids




--------------


"You to mr703.......You are exactly the fuckd who have run many off this board. - gringo"

People who constantly solicit sympathy on Facebook or gchat statuses.

"Sick :("

"Ugh. Not feeling well this morning."

"Wow, I feel terrible."

Pity-motherfucking-grab!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SC Gamecocks - 2010 National Champions

People trying to talk to me while I'm reading. There's a reason I have a book/newspaper in front of me. I'm on lunch. I want my quiet.

Lacey, I sent your sd card yesserday.

"This was JennyMchott's idea. But I like it." -Ely Plains

The post office has delivered my stuff to the wrong address. Twice. The same wrong address. Let's say I live at 217 Tofu Rd.

Well, the post office has been delivering to 207 Tofu Rd. Twice. FUCK THE DEEP SOUTH! It's institutionalized mediocrity down here, I tell ya.
************************************

memorable threads of 2010
.Why the fuck did I go so long without going to the library?.-Shadow Monkey

Shadow..i got your email and thanks! I'll be lookin forward to it!

Another one that I think just looks bad...fake tips on toenails.

smart strippers

"This was JennyMchott's idea. But I like it." -Ely Plains

Co-workers who want to talk to you while you are crapping. Especially at your desk.

Snob

**********************************
"I LOVE a good book asswipe."

- kyoyo - 2/9/2010

Co-workers who crap while you are talking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Has anyone mentioned midgets yet?

Responding to emails via the .org. Most emails come with a reply button. Use it.

Saying "well played." I am tired of this.

Well played, Jenny

Willie has the power to turn my biggest pet peeves into charming banter.

(This is a statement of fact, not a pet peeve.)

When people turn 1 bite of food into 4.

A lady I work with has been taking 4 bites out of a pretzel. It's freakin gross.

Personal Space.

I appreciate mine - please stand at least a foot away from me in any public situation.

Thanks!

People who think the ATM is a slotmachine. Insert pass, press code, get money, why should this take longer than a minute, max?

People of Middle Eastern descent calling me "boss."

normally I would say moving gifs as sigs, but I am really loving Conan rolling his eyes at kjo's idiocy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pet peeve of the day ... Laura's sig
_________________________________
"I don't post here very much. But I just wanted to say how genuinely fucking disturbing this thread is. Thankyou."
-haven

It's not my sig...

it's only posted in threads you post in
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kjoy and laura, get a room already.

****************************************

[signature removed out of consideration of others. Love, cannonball.]

she doesnt like me anymore
_________________________________
"I don't post here very much. But I just wanted to say how genuinely fucking disturbing this thread is. Thankyou."
-haven

kjo
you annoy me, more than anything

I've tried to like you ('go for the underdog')

but you just keep making idiotic posts.

and Rob, you can fuck off for all I care
(as you know)

ha I might need to add Conan to my sig....

what did i do?

****************************************

[signature removed out of consideration of others. Love, cannonball.]

be an asshole?

duh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that seems a little out of left field to me. have i offended you in some way here?

****************************************

[signature removed out of consideration of others. Love, cannonball.]

maybe she needs to take her meds.

laura, you are on the same level as mojo with that conan eye roll

_________________________________
"I don't post here very much. But I just wanted to say how genuinely fucking disturbing this thread is. Thankyou."
-haven

When peopke who are tired don't go to sleep and proceed to try to carry on a conversation while closing their eyes and slurring their words. It's as bad as a drunk person!

And the lady who eats her pretzels in 4 bites fell asleep on reak with a pretzel in her mouth. I had to remove myself from the area.

that is amazing i used to eat my stick pretzels in as many bites as possible, like bugs bunny eating a carrot.



"some of those people at alt-country.org are kinda stuck up i think"
-dinopasta1

"that is amazing i used to eat my stick pretzels in as many bites as possible, like bugs bunny eating a carrot. "

i still do

--------------


"You to mr703.......You are exactly the fuckd who have run many off this board. - gringo"

i would if i still ate stick pretzels



"some of those people at alt-country.org are kinda stuck up i think"
-dinopasta1

Kev...if it looks like this then it's ok




But these are this size:


Not okay.

"My vision of scummy and mickey right now - is them with one extravagantly coloured drink and two straws. " - W-T
"Lacey (she's lovely) " - Mickey

Eople who say you. It's only cute if your like my english friend.

People who say don't instead of does not or doesn't.

People who say "you"? Are you (sorry) bothered by that? You (sorry) might find it hard to get by if that's a pet peeve...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No offense but you sound like a hick in that last post, Lace.

That "you" complaint is hard to understand and it makes me think you want people to say "Ya" or "Yous" or other dialect instead of just saying "you."

People who say don't instead of does not or doesn't.

And then you're upset when people don't speak properly?

Egads!

Eople who type as if they're using their feet.

I meant you.

So you really don't like people who say "you"? As opposed to what!?

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Eople, eople. I think Lacey is talking when someone says you instead of the person's name. Imagine someone walks into a library, and instead of addressing the man in flannel as Sir, My Good Librarian, or Mr. Plains, they say "Hey, you, I doesn't see the latest issue of O Magazine, do you happen to have it behind the counter?" At least I hope that is what she means. Maybe she wants everyone to say yall all the time, and I would be okay with that.

I meant you.

That's why we call McHott the Tard Whisperer, folks.

He can read the monkey scratch of someone posting from their phone and make sense of it.

Like Alan Lomax in his recording van, I do my part documenting the bizarre cultural underbelly of this place (see Memorable Moments thread), but McHott can go native, blend in with the indigenous tribe and speak the language.

Hats off.

P.S. Seriously, Lacey. You've got to at least try to make sense. Jenny can't be there at your next job interview to translate.

Wow, I'm amazed that you were able to decipher that, Jenny... really remarkable.

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apostrophe abuse and general illiteracy

e.g. Re: "How to tell if you're boyfriend is a pussy"

um, cause he doesn't know where to put the apostrophe?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope eople becomes the new nesflash.

"apostrophe abuse and general illiteracy"

What's wrong with that sentence? :)

"apostrophe abuse and general illiteracy"

What's wrong with that sentence? :)

Nothing? At least to people who know how to read and write and spell...













;)

So, the abilities to read, write and spell are the only qualifiers necessary? There's no need for capitalization and punctuation then?













;)

Not on the internetz, babe.

kjo needs to see this:

In developed countries, the level of functional literacy of an individual is proportional to his/her income level and risk of committing crime. For example, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics in the United States:[3]:

Over 60% of adults in the US Prison System read at or below the fourth grade level
85% of US juvenile inmates are functionally illiterate
Adult inmates who received educational services while in prison had a 16% chance of returning to prison, as opposed to 70% for those who received no instruction.
43% of adults at the lowest level of literacy lived below the poverty line, as opposed to 4% of those with the highest levels of literacy.
According to begintoRead.com [4]:

Two Thirds of students who cannot read proficiently by the fourth grade will end up in jail or on welfare.
Three out of four individuals who receive food stamps read on the two lowest levels of literacy.
16 to 19 year old girls at the poverty level and below, with below average skills, are 6 times more likely to have out-of-wedlock children than their reading counterparts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I LOVED that last post, LauraJ.

If you have a college degree, don't have children, and live in a metropolitan area where jobs are plentiful...you have NO EXCUSE to be on foodstamps.

The only excuse is if you are mentally or physically disabled and if that is the case you should be on disability, not food stamps.

I feel like I've read that last post somewhere else.

I have a new one, one besides people who tan.

people who take pictures of food they cook.
edit: and post on facebook

Included in that are pictures of the indredients before they start to cook.

What the fuck is that? Can anyone explain. It pisses me off.

People that say mute when they should be saying moot.


----------------------------------
For there are brighter sides to life
And I should know, because I've seen them
But not often

i have tons of threads way better than this one.



____________________________________
“When I was young, a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough of life to have regained my confidence in it.”

Having to spend 20 minutes getting dressed in the morning. It's been fucking annoying.

Does that count?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When your thumb gets stuck way up inside your own asshole and you sprain your pointer finger trying to pull it out.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I honestly think that ghosts are more real than unicorns."
-Kjo

ditto

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People who tan? That's a peeve?

"people who take pictures of food they cook.
and post on facebook "

Everyone thinks they're a fucking chef. Blame it on the dozens of chef competitions, the Food Network and the Travel Channel(which is basically now the Food Network 2)

Its hideous! Its like they are bragging about something that anybody can do.

and yes, people who tan, annoying as fuck!
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

Kjo - You should upload a picture of your chili dog with your iPhone. Just to make fun of them.

The food thing doesn't bother me. If you like cooking and have an interest in new recipes then it can be beneficial. I have one FB friend who does this and he's a professional chef so....

If you're friends with people who are into tanning, well, that's a bigger problem...
***********************************

Well, if you are a professional chef, then yes, its ok. I enjoy looking at their food pics. But just a lamer, no. I can make a salad with organic vegetables too. Stick it up your ass.

Tanners can go fuck themselves.
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

Well, it's not a hobby but when I find myself in the park and the sun is shining, I'll take of my shirt and tan. How else am I going to get a bit of color?

lol, joost, im mainly talking about tanorexics. I wish I could frequent that park :)
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

grr...cant embed video of tan mom.
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

"tanorexics"

No, that's not me. But I know the type: 40 year old women who look like 70, with skin like leather. Ugh!

"I can make a salad with organic vegetables too. Stick it up your ass. "

Well it's a step up from the usual 'meal and feel' but I'm an adventurous guy, I'll go for it.


------------------------------
I kissed you once, kissed you again
My heart it tumbled like the stock exchange
------------------------------

For 'meal and feel'

replace with:

'Supper and tup her' or
'Dinner and in her'

as is your preference.


------------------------------
I kissed you once, kissed you again
My heart it tumbled like the stock exchange
------------------------------

Wined. Dined. Declined. Pined. Coffin lined.

No idea why I'm doing this. I'm losing it and I want some evidence to show my therapist.


------------------------------
I kissed you once, kissed you again
My heart it tumbled like the stock exchange
------------------------------

Awesome!

I'm sure I have bitched about this before here. I'm not sure. This isn't a pet peeve of the day, this is a pet peeve of every week. It doesn't make me hate her any less, though.

The woman who gives me mail every day at work does this almost every single day. At least once a week I have to explain why it annoys me. Let me set the scene. I have my own office with a door with a window.

Here's what happens. This miserable early 30's frumpy mass of a woman comes to my door. Keep in mind, my door has a window allowing me to see anyone that approaches my office. Every fucking day she knocks twice as she opens my door. I am fine with that. My problem is that as she opens my door she says 'knock knock.' Please keep in mind that she has already physically knocked. Here's how it goes down...

Frumpy Mail Girl (as she is opening my door): knock knock....here's your mail.

Me: Ok, Lori, again....you don't have to say 'knock knock' as...

Frumpy Mail Girl:...I know....I'm sor..

Me: you knock on my door. You know that sound you hear on the outside of my door when you physically knock on my door? I can hear that on the inside too. My door isn't any different than most doors you encounter. You saying 'knock knock' is redundant. In fact, you don't even have to physically knock, I can already see you entering due to the window.

Frumpy Mail Girl: I know. I always forget. I won't do it tomorrow.

nick-- next time just say, "who's there?"


----------------------------------
For there are brighter sides to life
And I should know, because I've seen them
But not often

It's annoying when you know more than your IT department. They say "No, it's not possible" to a request and then you do two google searches and find out it is possible.

Nick must have complete quiet when he's doing Meade Gifs. Why doesn't anyone at his job understand that?!!
***********************************

Nick, you are a bit of a cunt, aren't you?

i just keep thinking

Frumpy Mail Girl: yessa massa....sorra massa....wone happin agin massa

Thank you, Ely! Finally someone gets it.

When I have this little discussion with Frumpy Mail Girl she knows I'm just repeating everything for my own amusement. I like to pretend to be a bigger asshole than I really am. I'm a paper tiger.

It does annoy me though. I it think annoys me more because she keeps forgetting. The moment she utters the words she like tries to lasso them back in. She knows instantly that she fucked up.

how about grocery store lines...this is bevy of pet peeves.

people cutting you off in line....
those same people cutting you off and refusing to put up the little sticks that clearly state "place bar behind groceries"
people who take two hours to write a check and then after receiving their receipt they have look at it and make sure they weren't charged extra or the wrong price...or whatever the fuck it is..
people who cut you off with 500.00 bucks worth of groceries and you have a stick of butter.

how about the one line for the 4 automated checkout lines....one line makes sense...that is fine...but how about when someone from the back of the line decides to just head straight to the machine....then you have to remind them there is a line....


____________________________________
“When I was young, a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough of life to have regained my confidence in it.”

I shop in a good neighborhood at a Sprouts. People don't do that there.

I thought you lived in Montana?

;)
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if i go to Pattee Creek Market i don't have to worry about that...just uncourteous shit heads who can't drive their shopping carts. grrrrrrrr
____________________________________
“When I was young, a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough of life to have regained my confidence in it.”

ha!

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quit trying to one up me all the time...you fuck!
____________________________________
“When I was young, a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough of life to have regained my confidence in it.”

Eat a free-range dick.

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I hate people that think my views on abortion will change since I now have a kid. Like what about having a kid makes you lack sympathy and compassion? Why would I all of a sudden think that every pregnancy is an ideal situation just because I had a kid?

I'm sure gringo's parents are still considering an abortion.

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People who change lanes but do it slowly so both lanes are blocked.

And people in general.

We just had a major problem at work and all the top IT guys were working on it together, these are guys all over the US and Taiwan. My co worker and I (who know nothing) figured it out.

I think its the same issue as the proof-reader who proof reads 8 hrs a day does not catch a typo and the intern does.
~~~
I have very broad shoulders tapered down to a thin, narrow waist - Meade

i'm with inky.

people in general.


____________________________________
“When I was young, a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough of life to have regained my confidence in it.”